Itsy Bitsy Spider -- or NOT!

Last weekend, following our trip to the zoo, we took a walk in one of our many local nature parks. It was late afternoon and the sun through the changing leaves was wonderful! However, what was NOT wonderful, was the plentiful population of spiders. 
I have an intense dislike (perhaps irrational fear) of these 8-legged arachnids. I have been known, on more than one occasion, to call a tolerant neighbor fellow to rescue me and my kids from a spider when hubby was not home. And on other occasions, I have been known to sit in petrified stillness, watching a spider (you know, he might run and hide and then I'd never know for sure where he was) until an appropriate spider-killer returns home. 
Our walk had all the makings of a desensitization session -- you know, exposure to the feared object or bug. They were everywhere! It'd be fine if they spun their very large and nicely illuminated webs off the trail, but these fiendish things dangled themselves over the trail as well. I'm afraid my paranoia was readily apparent to my children. It may have been the shrieking and ducking. Little Sis would run and hold my hand, saying, "I'm going to calm you down." This from a three year old. Oh, the shame. Big D facilitated from being on the look out for spiders to warn mom and pretending to see them crawling on mom. Such a boy. 
The irony is not lost on me -- taking pictures of my nemesis. The webs were truly beautiful and somehow I feel safer behind the view finder. A phenomena I have noticed when photographing bees as well. Oh fickle, irrational mind! 

This month's word at ShutterSisters is illuminate. What fun! I love the colors and light of fall. I'm going to head out this weekend to try to capture some to share.

WYP #65

Laura, this little girl is BEAUTIFUL! Here's this week's What's Your Play challenge -- and what a treat to work with such a lovely picture. I followed a tutorial Coffee Shop to create the black and white adjustment and then used layers to preserve the colors in the umbrella. Fiddled with hue and saturation and added a watercolor texture. Ta-da:) Very fun. 

Woot Woot!

I did it, ladies and gentlemen. I vowed yesterday to get up earlier so that I could have a few precious moments of quiet before the day began and here I am -- sipping my coffee, checking stuff out online, savoring the beginning of the day. Ah! Now to see if my theory will pan out in a generally more pleasurable and rewarding morning once the kids are up . . . I'm feeling very hopeful:) 

Reflections

Today was Sis' 2nd ballet class and again, of course, she loved it. This time around, the parents were banished to the hallway so planning ahead, I brought along a coffee and some reading I've been meaning to get to. I read an interview with Salvador Minuchin, famous family therapy innovator, and it was just what I needed to hear. Here is an excerpt:

I have become a much better parent now than I was as a younger man. I wish I had had the quietness and the wisdom then that I have now. I think it is a pity that beauty is spent on young people, and wisdom comes with age. It wold be a very different world if it was the other way around.   Psychotherapy Networker September/October 2009

Yes, precisely. It is a struggle for me to feel an internal quiet in the midst of the noise and bustle of family life. There is always the push to keep one step ahead of the chaos that threatens to overwhelm the fragile order that must be re-created each day. Routines and rituals just barely keep it at bay at times. After an especially crabby day yesterday, I told my husband that it feels as if there is a to-do list that lives in my head. It is never completed -- as one item is checked off, another takes it place. My mind is always occupied not only by the present (usually the noisy silliness of my children) but also by the demands of the future. And heavens help me if anything truly historical (like anything greater than 5 minute ago) should be sitting on the fringes of my consciousness, waiting for an audience! And then there is my inner critic, the one that tells me that I know how to parent better than I do. It is deeply reassuring that one of the greats of psychotherapy, of family therapy specifically, can reflect on his role as a youthful parent and find himself lacking in the complete calm and centeredness that evades me! 

Another excerpt:

I never expect people to change themselves. In a struggle with yourself, somebody has to lose, and that will be you

He goes on to explain that it is by doing something different that we discover new ways of being in relationship with others -- we change something in how we typically are in these relationships in order to change the system (family/relationship) that we are a part of. In simple terms, my sweet cherubs are driving me nuts at breakfast. Rather than the guilty self-talk I've been doing about my failings as a grounded, calm parent -- which by the way, doesn't feel very enpowering -- I've decided to change something else in the system. I need 15-20 minutes of quiet to have some coffee, gather my thoughts, check in with myself and others. It is the tension between urging the kids to eat, not be too silly, get dressed, not hit each other, etc and this need I have for calm that drives me bonkers. So my new plan, are you ready for this?I'm going to prioritize this calm first thing in the morning, before the children have come downstairs. I'll get it all out of my system so that when we all sit down together at the table, my attention is not divided. That's the plan. The difficulty will be waking up early . . . 

You're good people if you've made it this far, thus I'm rewarding you with some of my favorite colors of fall:) The first photo above is a deliberate imitation of the kinds of photos I admire over at Georgia B's  It's Just How I See Things. And the little duo of the vine was taken on the zoo trip this weekend. This evening it began to rain and cool weather is forecasted for the rest of the week. You know what that means? Lots of beautiful orange pumpkins in the future!

Birds of Prey

The kids love the bird show. My sister would be so proud. She's a bird of prey gal -- having done some pretty note worthy research on the California Condor with the San Diego Zoo and such. In fact, she may know these two birds personally. While living with us between undergrad and graduate school, she volunteered with the Oregon Zoo's bird of prey program. 
We unintentionally sat directly in line with the birds' flight path so there were many times when the huge, majestic (a little scary) birds flew within inches of our heads. Hubby says that the turkey vulture clipped him . . . I was attempting to focus on the birds through my view finder as they swooped in. It can be a startling perspective! None of those close up shots really came out. I'd love to figure out how to do that better. UGH. Running into that photography skill barrier . . . but moving along. The bald eagle is my favorite. I swell with pride and choke up a bit. I suppose the bird has truly become, for me, a symbol of what I want to believe is good and true about my country. 

Speaking of symbols, just finished Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol. Very interesting. Anyone else reading or read it? I'd love to discuss with others . . . I'm especially interested in Noetic Science and the implications for faith and religion. I'm going to need to gather my thoughts a bit before going down that rabbit hole here. Last evening I began a little "research" online, and found a couple of websites that may be a good starting place. I was also pleased to discover that one of the many unfinished books by my bedside may be a good introduction: The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself. 

Lions, oh my!

Today found us admiring the the big cats at the whole new African exhibit at the Oregon Zoo. They put on a show for us. Laying about on a rock, all photogenic. I swear this gal above is posing. 
And just look at that tongue! I love the grace and power of the big cats -- whatever breed they may be. Not sure I can put my finger on what is so appealing to me. Perhaps its the power in a beautiful, graceful body. I think it may be the contradiction between their sometimes playful demeanor and the fearsome hunter. They may look like cuddle kitties but beware -- the unsheathed claws in the first photo or the teeth hidden behind the monster pink tongue.
My two tots were a little worried about seeing the lions (hyenas and cheetahs, too). They were sure they'd roar and be scary. But quite quickly, they joined the throng of spectators all but throwing themselves against the barriers to catch a glimpse of the three big, stately cats.
It's late and I'm going to put my computer to bed for the night. We had a wonderful morning at the zoo with many photo ops -- can't wait to show you what we saw at the bird show! And then later in the afternoon, a walk at a new park we discovered. Something to show you from there as well. 

WYP #64

Ok, let me see if I can explain my steps with this photo edit . . . you know what they say, you learn best when you try to teach/explain the process to someone else. First, made a mask of the owl and then intensified that using the hard light filter several times. Then, I think, I simplified the layers and used the filter at a reduced opacity for the whole deal. I bet that's as clear as mud which would be an accurate depiction of my brain at the moment! 

It's been a long work week and it's not quite over. Today to go and then, hopefully, a little down time at home. I work very long hours two days of my 3-day work week so that I can leave early enough on the last to pick up the kids and spend some time with them in the evening. Last week a crisis came up that kept me in the office and prevented me from writing my notes . . . meaning that I started this work week with a day of late notes to write and long days of client hours and meetings. I hate to be behind. And let me tell you, things are hopping. School's been in session for a couple of weeks, long enough for parents and teachers to remember how difficult a child's behaviors really are when they are stressed by the demands of the school day. And parents' behaviors are stressed by their child's, their family's dire financial straits and their own mental health issues. 

Heading out the door now. Looking forward to a friend's baby shower this weekend, working on a school project with Big D and looking for some pictures of the newly changing leaves. Ah, sounds lovely!

Heading out the door