Saturday, June 5, 2010

Shadow Self

I've been working away, learning Photoshop CS5 . . . among other things! Wouldn't it be fabulous if we could completely turn our attention to one thing until we feel its been given its due or we are done! Laundry doesn't count! Repeatedly I'm reminded that with everything one thing we choose, another thing is not chosen. Photography, though near and dear to my heart, has not been chosen as often as I'd like in recent weeks. 
My mind has not been inactive even if my camera has gathered a bit of dust. On my heart has been this shrieking, unpleasant child that lives inside of me. All needy and grasping and embarrassing as heck. She's well hidden, tucked away from view, but oh-so-vocal in my mind's ear. My traditional mode of dealing with this unattractive waif, has been to chastise her and tell her that her wants and demands are selfish, unkind, immature.  I've had a revelation in the last couple of days. This child requires special care and tending. And I know just the person for the job. Me. 

How odd for a therapist to come lately to the idea that the compassion and kindness extended to those in her care can be extended to herself. That she knows from a deep-down place what is needed. She knows how to sooth unsettled and frightened children. Why not the child that rages within her own rib cage? It was a powerful thought that I could turn to this child and say, "It's ok. I will make sure your needs are met. I will look after you." Mothering myself, able to accept this place as part of my own personal development. This, too, shall pass. 

How have you become friends with your own shadow self? 

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